speechless

speechless
loss for words
unbelievable

Friday April 17,2009 8:03
A boy lost control of his car and ran in to a school bus
on his way to school

that boy was my cousin, Thomas.
16 years old and God took his soul to heaven
i know that for sure
he's in a better place but only had 16 years to live a life that
was quickly taken from him unexpectedly
last time i saw him was a year ago and i regret not going to
Mississippi more often to visit them.

i never knew how it felt to loose someone so close to you
it makes you regret not spending time with them
and it makes you think about them more often than you did before
it makes you sadder and more depressed
every time you try not to think about it
people just keep bringing it up and you just don't want to think about it
it just hurts.

the next day my sister and her boyfriend got car jacked.
they took her purse with her phone, wallet, and pretty much life in it.
they took his wallet and car.

this just adds to the most terrible weekend of my life
and of course my moms was in Mississippi with her sister
i get a phone call and of course think the worst and the worst already happened
this just adds to it
my sister was historical
and I'm eating snowballs with my friends
even though me and my sister have our disagreements
i wanted to be there for her

i had a dance competition in Slidell and it went okay
i just had too much on my mind
i did good in my dances
but not my best
i cant just pull off happy dances with all this is going on

and everything was starting to get better

trust, what trust?

trust...
such a strong word
and i trust no one
i thought i did
but not anymore
i found out that my best friend really isnt a good friend at all
over the stupidest thing to
a song
it started with a song
then led me thinking to the past months
then made me realize
my friend isnt a friend
shes a selfish, full-of-herself bitch
she doesnt listen to me
she doesnt pay attention
she doesnt care
for anyone, other than herself
its aggravating that i put up with her for this long
ive been nothing but a good friend to her
yeah i mess up every now and then
but at least i try
she doesnt give me shit!
friends?
she doesnt even know the definition of friends
she wont even let her best guy friend go out with this girl because she doesnt approve
selfish much?
she doesnt want things to change and ruin her life
she just has to deal with shit
thats life its not always cookies and milk
im tired of it
i dont know how to tell her but im going to have to
shes loosing friends and she doenst even know it
she doesnt want change, but she has changed
i want my old friend back from kindergarden
back when she was nice and caring
innocent...
fuck my life